Week 2: Understanding: Listen to your favorite full-albums together.
If I had to pick only one type of date to have for the rest of my life, it would be listening to a full album together. I couldn’t wait for this date. Fitz even sounded excited about this one, possibly because he doesn’t have to put on grown up clothes or leave the house.
This date still came with some fear. Since the two of us grew up in different countries and in different decades, we wondered if we may end up listening to something completely unfamiliar to one of us, say a childhood favorite like Free to Be You and Me. Fitz worried that I would obsess, spend too long trying to pick the perfect album, or have the urge to change the music when there is a song I didn’t like. I worried that Fitz would tell a story through an entire album.
Ultimately, I just want someone who knows which songs not to talk over.
As it turns out, these fears were valid and we were tested.
I already knew that I was not going to try to figure out my one favorite album. I could not do it and, yes, I would have obsessed. It would take me days to narrow it down to five favorite albums. Besides, if the relationship focus for the date is understanding, I should pick a favorite that either helps him understand me better or shows that I am considerate of his taste in music. I could even pick something he might enjoy.
Without discussing our rationale for the album choices, we individually ended up picking albums that we both played endlessly when they came out. As we sat down to pick an album, we asked each other if greatest hits albums would count and we agreed they wouldn’t but that live albums could count. So, what did we pick? Safe but hardy choices.
· Fitz: Counting Crows - August and Everything After (1993)
· Leslie: U2 - Under a Blood Red Sky (1983)
As the albums played, the music transported us back in time. We shared memories that the songs brought back to life, from our lives before we had met and from shared experiences while we have been together. We reminisced. We laughed. We missed our friends who have passed and those who live far away. And yes, Fitz did keep talking during some of the songs where I would have preferred we just listened. But it was fine, really fine, because we were connecting and talking. It was a lovely night.
We didn’t have to wake up early for work the next day so we just kept going with two other albums, Stevie Wonder’s Innervisions (1973) and Travelling Wilburys Vol. 1 (1988). Some albums resonate more than others. For example, we listen to Innervisions often enough that it didn’t stir up my insides and release the unique memories of a “lost and rediscovered” album. Eventually as we listened to that album, fatigue got the better of me and I fell asleep on the couch. Fitz, though, was so exhilarated that he called to chat with my sister and brother-in-law. They are three hours behind us, but it was still probably too late to call. They talked for over an hour. My sister said he just sounded so in love and happy. He really did enjoy the night.
It was a pretty great night. We’ve now listened to 8 full albums this week and talked about Pet Sounds being up next. There is something about a full album, produced as a complete work, which puts you in a specific place and time and brings you back to the original message or mood. Fitz likes that I’m not skipping songs. As long as I know we are appreciating a full album, I can show more patience for individual songs that I may not love. I was even able to handle a whole album of Ian Dury and the Blockheads. We’ll see if Fitz can stand a whole Wham album someday when I’m feeling reckless or brave. Or maybe, I’ll just stick with the focus on understanding when we listen to music together. It helped.
What albums will you select?